to love without agenda

"The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good."
Samuel Johsnon

Forgive someone who has hurt you.

Let someone tell a story without needing to insert your input or your own story :)

Be the first to smile or strike up a conversation, even if you don't know how it will be received.

That $20 that your brother owes you, or the book you loaned out last year? FORGET ABOUT IT :)

Don't ever say I told you so, even if you did.

Always look for the positive in every single person, it IS there.

Give your FULL attention to the person in front of you (rather than your phone, computer, the television, or whatever oh so IMPORTANT thoughts are running through your mind).

Ask someone to teach you something and let them teach you.

Change your plans for someone you love (without questioning if they would do the same for you).

Love without fear, without judgment, without expectation, and without demand for return.

*Disclaimer:  Once again, no judgment coming from these words, just sharing the things that I need to work on.

Things are not always as they seem, always looking for new perspective

The blessing of growing up in a developing country…

From the time you are born, you are faced with hunger, conflict, and insecurity.  This results in the realization that you MATTER, that you need to have an education and find a good job, that you need to make a difference for your yourself, for your family and for your country.

It is NOT an aimless existence of paying the bills, filling up your appointment book, barely making it through another week, and always wondering isn't there more than this?

The facts that they have a real mission and real contribution to make give them a giant leap over teenagers and adults in Western society.  WE think we are just one of many, all doing the same thing, and we do not seek or find our true purpose as easily.

Their ‘curse’ has become their blessing.

Perhaps we are not as blessed as we like to believe.

Maybe this 'blessing' has contributed to our feelings of emptiness. To feeling dead inside and in seeking fulfillment in so many ways (children, jobs, spouses, degrees, alcohol or drugs {caffeine in my case}, and RELIGION) we end up losing the only Way.

Because true poverty is being nothing to no one and not feeling needed. 

These people, they KNOW that they are needed to make a difference.

I am not trying to say they are perfect, just saying that I so excited to learn from them. 

I admire and respect their positivity, genuine kindness, and JOY.

The greater the suffering the greater the opportunity to show compassion and also to SEE compassion and love in others.  It fills the soul like nothing else can.

But maybe thats just me...

And what does the Lord ask of you? To do justice and to love mercy.

one of my favorite things about being in a developing country...
it is IMPOSSIBLE to forget:

• that you are just a drop in an incredibly ginormous :) ocean.
• that this is so much bigger than what we can see.
• that somebody else HAS to be in control, because if he isn't, there is no point.
• that life is SHORT, you have to live every moment.  

People are dying EVERY DAY, all around you. It is your choice how you live your life. I do not want to have any regrets. I do not want to wish I lived differently, wish I took the time to say I love you, wish I took the time to smile more, wish I took the time to listen, really listen.  Today I choose to live in the present moment.  Today I choose to live for you.  Today I choose love and mercy. Because I agree with Paul, no matter what you have or how much you know, without love you have nothing.

I think I want to surf, mostly so that i could feel the awesome power of the waves, and always remember that i am not the one in control.  :)

Oh and today I saw three people on a moto:  the driver, a mother, and a little tiny boy with an IV (the drip was suspended from a long stick that the mother was carrying), I'm sorry I didn't get a picture, would have felt super guilty.  But sometimes I think the things that you SEE are the things that make you who you are. So I do wish you could see. It's like you don't know whether to laugh or cry.

Being unwanted, unloved, uncared for, forgotten by everybody, I think that is a much greater hunger, a much greater poverty than the person who has nothing to eat.  And once again Mother T sums it all up! Anyone who has worked on the streets knows that this is true poverty, the worst disease.  Being unneeded and unwanted and unloved.  Make a difference today.

Photo of Durian

I hope you can see the size of it, by comparing it with that ladies arm!  :)

http://i1131.photobucket.com/albums/m551/BeFree7/Psar%20Toul%20Tom%20Pong/P7020327.jpg

A day in the life of a normal girl, trying to be anything but normal.

"Hate ends not with more hate but with love.

And from that we take hope. 

Without love and hope our lives would be empty.

Happiness is something we cannot keep, unless we give it away."

quote from a Khmer mother after her life had been uprooted, her loved ones murdered, and her country torn apart by her very own people.

Whew, back to the day...

The day where I get to meet and BE influenced by these incredibly strong, capable, beautiful, and kind people. These people who have had so much taken away and have responded with smiles through their tears. All I pray is that I learn from them and that in some small way I am able to help carry just a tiny piece of this massive, unfathomable burden that they have had for so many years. This will be the ultimate blessing to me, me who was born with EVERYTHING. If you are reading this, thank you for being in my life.

• Most people around here take 3 showers a day… the high temp right now is 88 or 89 I think, but with 100% humidity it is said to feel like high 90’s.  Either way, feels hot to me!  And I love three cool showers in a day!
• Still on the job hunt!  I have three websites I keep up on everyday.  Have applied for some positions, mostly teaching.  Have heard back on a couple, but I am waiting for just the right thing! Hopefully something that leaves time for volunteering and spending time with friends from school where I worked last year and enjoying this earth that the good Lord created to be enjoyed. 
• Another part of the daily routine is CLEANING!  I sweep the place everyday, mop often, take the trash out everyday and ALWAYS wash all of the dishes and keep food in the fridge or tightly sealed!  There are always bugs anywhere you go, and of course it’s also dusty! 
• Psar Toul Tom Pong (Russian Market) is a favorite stop of mine!  I love getting ‘Phnom Penh’s Best Iced Coffee’ from a very sweet man who always has multiple Sampeah’s (Khmer way of greeting, showing respect, saying thank you, etc! always a good thing) for you and his beautiful niece is always there as well.  These people are there 7 days a week, all day.  Never heard of sick days or vacation days J  Have met some super nice people just hanging out drinking coffee (two glasses of the best iced coffee in Phnom Penh for $1).  Today I met Michelle from Mayo, Ireland and Alex from D.C.  They are here for the summer working as law interns for an NGO, had a great time chatting with them!  Also you can find anything you want or need at the markets here, any kind of clothing or a tailor if you want your clothing made.  You can buy all of your food, bathroom and cleaning supplies, office supplies, things for a car or moto including tires and other parts, you can eat lunch, run into people from every country in the world, find any piece of jewelry, books, any cd, dvd, battery, camera part, lol I will stop but you get the point!
• Met a lovely Pakistani woman today named Maria!  She has the cutest son ever! Her husband is here working for Mobitel.  She has been here since May but has to head back home in a couple days.  I got her email though in case I even want to go visit. She lives in Peshawar and could NOT believe that I don’t have Facebook, ha-ha!
• Saw a white woman on a moto with TWO kids in front of her. Both of them had helmets, yea!  So wish I got a picture of that, funny sight and not so common! Six Khmer=fine, Three foreigners(including two kids)=not such a common sight!
• Today I got some groceries (you tend to buy more often and need to use more quickly groceries here because of the heat) and also some dvd’s.   The sun sets at 6 and I usually try to be inside by then, the evenings can get lonely so I usually read but with the TV on. Decided to get some new movies, let me know if anyone has recommendations (you can get any movie that is out, or haha in the theatre).  Anyhow…I guess it pays off hanging out in one place for an hour letting the employees practice their English on you and asking them all about their families, houses, distance to work, how they like their jobs, etc.!  Got six dvd’s for $7.50!  They are usually $1.50 or $2 each (at this high-quality place), even for Khmer ha-ha! Super sweet employee, Dany (English nickname) gave me her phone number.  Last time Mar and I found it is better to receive phone numbers than to give yours ha-ha. As it would not be uncommon for someone to call you ten times a day, even someone you just met! Mar remember Menghorng ahhhhhhh!!!  :)
• Ohhh the monsoons… I usually hide inside in the afternoon either at home or somewhere else.  So anytime between 1 and 4 it usually RAINS like crazy for an hour or two.  And these storms are not just crazy rain; they include extremely high wind, and amazing lightning.  Not so amazing is the fact that more than 90 people have been killed this year. LMore people die in Cambodia from lightning than in any other country, and it’s still early in the wet season. 

Sorry if this is boring, just trying to explain a typical day!  And actually I typed a huge thing and then i somehow lost it, so this is the second time around and not as well written because I got frustated haha.

Much Love! And many Sampeahs!