Showing posts with label culture. Show all posts
Showing posts with label culture. Show all posts

Thursday, November 15, 2012

People and Places


Today I was pondering the parallels between places and relationships. 

When you first step foot into a new country the surroundings are surreal: 
The faces new and somehow innocent. 
The landscape enthralling, “like nothing ever seen before.”  Every palm tree is unique and perfect.  The sky is the bluest you have seen.
The fruit…you cannot even describe the colors, the smells, the taste. 

Everything around appears so fresh and pure.  It is almost too good to be true.  You have yet to notice the giant cockroaches, the begging children, the armies (we are talking Red Army here) of ants taking over, the numerous fellows who appear to assume that the side of the road is a toilet (wonder what would happen if I assumed as well), and the “could be oh so beautiful” beaches littered with plastic bags, syringes, dead creatures, etc.  
You scoff at others’ discomforts, mock safety concerns, and admonish them for their negativity. 

You know what I’m talking about right—infatuation. 

Then you begin to wonder about little things... 
What makes that banana so small? 
Why isn’t this language tonal? 
Why are there different levels of sampeahs? 
What causes the monsoon?
Why does everyone always smile?
Does everyone in the world love rice?
Why do I need to remove my shoes?
Why do they use the US dollar?

Silly things. 
Then you consider the bigger issues.  The cultural norms that differ so greatly from your own.  Differences in gender roles, in parenting styles, and in beliefs and morals.  Your mind is not quite so open as it was previously.  You still want to learn, but your attitude has gained a little superiority.  You politely offer “well, this is how we do it,” while thinking “and it works for us so why don’t you try it out?”  You quietly contemplate all the reasons their way is “wrong” and yours is “right.” 

You really begin to get to know the place.  You meet people, you learn their stories and discover their passions.  It is enthralling to learn about life in another culture.  

The learning, or discovery stage.  

Then you have a negative experience.  
Whether it’s a stolen laptop, getting clipped by drunken and clueless Lexus, or hearing a story about a “local little girl” that tears your heart out piece by piece, you realize everything is not as it first appears.  At least not for us doe-eyed optimists. 

Ya, we’ve all been there—time to weigh out your options, right?  Should I head somewhere that is cleaner, maybe without any travel warnings? 

Some choose to  leave after this experience.  Unfortunately the negative taste will probably remain with them, influencing their stories and blog posts for years to come.  Maybe it’s for the best.  I say it is always worthwhile to tough it out.  Rainbows come after the rain, right?  Not before and not during. 

There are seasons.  Weeks and months of excitement and discovery.  Days of dreariness and not much hope.  Sometimes you look around and see only trash and beggars, other times you see only smiling sweepers.  

I could go on…but will keep it simple.
If we can get past the infatuation and find truth, it will be a worthwhile venture.  Reality is not always picture perfect, sometimes it hurts, sometimes it's ugly.  But it is always worth the journey.

Every place has its own quirks as every place has its own beauty.  Maybe certain places aren’t for all of us.  But we, who get to discover new places and truly learn about their histories, and their people, with open minds, are incredibly lucky. 
Ya it’s cheesy, but just like in relationships the enchantment will fade.  Reality will set in.  Don’t forget to look for the goodness.  It is always there.  And it is sure to outlast all of the corruption, racism, hatred, and negativity.  

Monday, October 15, 2012

Journey to Koh Preah


     These villages are hidden among the thousands of islands scattered throughout the vast waters of the Mekong.  The Mekong River runs through Cambodia, Vietnam, Thailand, Laos, Myanmar, and China, providing life and sustenance to millions of people.  The Mekong’s waters range from a pale blue to a light mud brown to a deep reddish-brown depending on several factors.  These versatile waters remind me of the continual changes in both my life and my perspective.  Our experiences change like the seasons.  This results in a constant transformation of views, beliefs and perspective.  For this I am forever thankful as stagnancy is for the boring, the ones who pretend to be content, the ones who fight change even until their final breath. 
       
     After a grueling day-long bus ride, a night in a questionable guest house, and the essential iced coffee with sweetened-condensed milk, we embark.  The trip must be completed by boat and not the safe boat that many of us might prefer, but a long and narrow weathered wooden contraption filled with ants, splinters, and holes.  The motor sits in the stern where the captain stands balancing, navigating, and most often smoking.  Throughout the ride, we take turns grabbing anything we see to scoop out the water that quickly fills the floor of the boat.  I see no life jackets, no emergency whistles, and no radio Coast Guard to call if we encounter a dangerous storm.  The combination of circumstances bring to mind an article I read a few years ago.  The world’s largest freshwater fish – the giant catfish which grows up to 660 pounds – makes its home in the Mekong.  While I know catfish are not predators, I cannot help but visualize the massiveness of the giant catfish.  I glance again at the precarious boat.    

     Upon arriving at the island of choice the captain becomes a navigator of another sort.  After quickly but carefully tying up his main source of income and pride, he grabs an ax, a machete, and another cigarette from his shirt pocket and we set out through the jungle.  The atmosphere changes in a heartbeat.  Suddenly, we are completely surrounding by luscious foliage.  The air feels dense with humidity, but pure and unpolluted.  The sounds come from everywhere.  I feel surrounded by animal chatter.  The noise is deafening and I wish I could record every chirp and every croak to remember their harmony forever.

     We reach our destination smiling and drenched with moisture from the precipitation in the air - the village on Koh Preah, or Island of God.  The ruddy red roads contrast strikingly with the otherwise fertile surroundings.   The village is located along the river.  I do not know if the purpose of our jungle excursion was to animate our welcome or merely to avoid a certain area of the river.  The monsoon is in full season, which means flooding occurs regularly.  Maybe it would be impossible to dock the boat near the village.

     At first glance, the village does not disappoint.  The bus ride that brought us here could easily be described as the roller coaster ride from hell.  The boat adventure was intense.  Everything it took to get to this island, which seems to exist in another time, was well worth it.  The pigs root in the dirt while roosters peck at the ground, belting out half-hearted crows that seem to stop midway.  They seem simply too tired to complete the sentence.  The children exude much shyness than city children.  They are unaccustomed to unfamiliar, and especially white, faces.  Their faces are grimy, their round brown eyes bright, their hellos animated and paired with smiles, their clothing dirty and frayed resemblances of the national school uniform. 

     The shacks built on stilts are spread out.  I am not sure how many exist, but all appear within walking distance.  The buildings sag, the tin roofs rusty, and often a board or tree appears carelessly thrown on top of the shack to keep the roof in place.  Each family has a dining table beneath their elevated home.   Hammocks hang down everywhere.  Many of the families have a variety of animals outside, mostly chickens.  The occasional “wealthy” village member has a pig or some oxen for plowing.  Foliage invades everything, but it is a welcome invasion, for it provides a bit of relief from the extreme heat and harsh rain. 

     Every person offers a smile, cautious yes, but genuine.  Life abounds here.  Everywhere I turn I see large spiders, chicks pecking, massive banana flowers, sugar palms, coconut trees, delicious food, oxen plowing small rice fields, monks, and children in white shirts and blue pants or skirts.  It is startling to see these kids so far from anywhere, dressing and scampering just like the rest of the country’s children.  Though they may be without basic sanitation, reliable income, food, transportation, and many other necessities, they are innocent and free.  Their smiles do not bely poverty or any deficiency at all.  In fact, seem more carefree than many children who have much more. 

     I meet Lim Sovannary, one of the village leaders.  She is beautiful in her tailored pants and high heels, a red and white striped beanie on her head.  We share warm smiles.  She sees visible areas on my neck and arms that have deep red bruises leftover from my recent “culture embracing experience.”  Coining, similar to cupping, is a common remedy used throughout East Asia to cure many different aches and pains.  Though it was painful, I feel it’s always worthwhile to participate in local customs.  Sovannary remains speechless for a just moment and then her face fills with joy.  A barang (foreigner) who chooses to participate in local customs or even just speak a bit of the language is soon an insider here.  She cups my face in her callused brown hands and tells me I am beautiful (in Khmer, she speaks no English).  Her smile alone is contagious.  The rest of my time here I know I am one of the family.  In a collectivist culture, hand-shaking and small talk are not the tools to build a relationship.  You can make eye contact with and talk with anyone in this country without getting strange looks.  But when you become a part of the family, the family will walk through fire for you. 

     Sleeping on the only bed in the wooden shack, I consider where I am and who I am.  This most generous family with no possessions, no savings, no “Western” hope for the future have more to give than I.  They offer all that they have, the only bed, the only blanket.  They prepare the finest food with the care of a brand new mother.  They aim to please and do not fail. 

Here I find humility, strength, and courage.  I find once again, that anytime you go somewhere or do something to “help” someone else, usually you become stronger.  Usually you receive the help.

     Once again, we board the dilapidated boat with our trusty navigator.  On this return journey, the magnitude of the river is difficult to ignore.  I cannot pull my eyes away from the deepness of the sky.  It appears moody, the clouds potent, the colors intense.  Here the endless water and colorful sky meet.  The vastness takes my breath away and reminds me of my smallness.   At some points I look out without seeing the opposite shore.  Sometimes we all must draw in a sharp breath and remember our humanity.   We must be reminded that giving is better than receiving.  We must somehow relearn that a smile remains more valuable than gold; that friendship and authenticity are more precious than any material goods.

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Silk farm















Soft yellow cocoons
 Tucked safely away from monsoons

Perfect threads and vibrant colors
Flawless patterns, so much to discover

Born with a purpose obvious, concrete
A life to envy, short but complete


Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Phsar Thmey

Phsar Thmey, known as Central Market, is a unique and beautiful structure.  Directly translated from Khmer Phsar Thmey means "new market" but it is locally known as Central Market.
















Friday, August 10, 2012

Coined


We cannot completely disregard customs just because they are based on something we do not 'believe' in or agree with.  Although Western modern medicine is science-based, most are also guilty of trying at home remedies, old wives tales, or quick fix supplies for anything and everything.  The majority of these have no evidence to support their success.  Considering ‘blood letting’ was practiced well into the 19th Century and there are still common procedures being done that are relating to blood letting (acupuncture), we cannot assume that everything accepted in our society or culture is proven to be effective.

The first time I came to Southeast Asia I often saw people with swollen, red lines down their backs and arms.  Sometimes they looked red and sometimes they appeared to be dark like bruises. Of course I had to find out what this was and then had to try it for myself. On coining:

There are various rituals and customs practiced all over the world that seem foreign or strange to someone else but are vital parts of life to the members of the society.  I am sure you have heard of cupping, there is a similar practice here in Cambodia.   Coining or cao gio is sought out as a remedy for multiple issues including fever, the common cold, abdominal pain, chills, headache, and any general sickness. Coining involves rubbing oil or balm (such as tiger balm) on the skin, ordinarily the chest, back, and shoulders, and then VIGOROUSLY rubbing a coin over the area in a linear fashion until a red mark is seen. Cao gio is translated as “catch the wind” as it is believed to remove excess wind (one of the humors) and restore balance to the body.  Illness is a disruption in balance and coining is an attempt to restore balance to the opposing elements.  Although it’s proven that coining improves circulation and that the tiger balm (and other agents with D camphor) is effective when absorbed transdermally against aches, pains, and hypotension this practice is widely regarded in a negative light.  It has been reported as abuse, described as superstitious, and firmly disregarded by the western medical community.  I have pictures if you would like to see, it’s pretty harsh.  You might call it abuse also, but I chose to be ‘coined.’ Oh by the way, it took one hour and cost $4.

I only bring this up as a personal example of something that looked extremely painful and would appear crazy to some but was well worth the pain to have the experience.  I was able share the experience with my amazing Cambodian friend, to hear stories about growing up with this experience, as a child she associated it with pain and now she cannot wait to be ‘coined.’  She chooses to do it anytime that she is stressed, has a cold, or feels like she is getting sick.  Some may call it superstitious. Many might even think it’s ‘magic’ but to Sopheap it’s medicine and it’s life. 

From August '11



Monday, July 30, 2012

Intentions do not justify actions.


I came to the Kingdom of Wonder with “good intentions.”
I came thinking I could lend a helping hand, thinking my experience could be of use.
I came to fight what I believed to be a serious problem.
I came with such a typical Western attitude.

Notice the pattern – I, I, I & (wait for it…) I.

Why is it so easy for Individualists, born and raised believing personal freedom is the most important thing in life, to press their beliefs and behaviors upon others?

Why is it so natural to think that “our way” is the right way?  In fact – the Only way.  Why is it impossible to consider that perhaps other cultures, other societies, have their own way?

Why would I not realize that it is not my place to come to a country to “help” it? Maybe I should come and learn the language.  
Maybe I could come and learn the culture. 
Maybe I could come and build some relationships with it’s citizens, share their food and learn their stories. 

While I came with good intentions, they were the wrong intentions.  I know that now.  I came to ‘help’ but instead found a haven.  Here is where I learned to just “be.”  I learned from the very people I wanted to ‘help,’ I learned kindness, unselfishness.  I learned what it is to truly give. 

I’m not proud of the reasons I came – yes to teach English and yes to volunteer with an anti-trafficking organization.   
I now consider myself incredibly lucky and blessed to have spent this time here.  I have learned more than I ever could in university. 

Never again will I go to “help” others in a place I do not truly know anything about.  You can read all the books in the world, you can know a country’s history inside and out but you have to know it’s PEOPLE to truly know it. 

Who am I to help anyone?

I am incredibly thankful to the Kingdom of Wonder.  To this land and people I owe everything.  I know now a bit more about myself but more importantly about others.  I know that I can never know much about anything. 
Every day I learn something new.

Never get too confident in yourself, in your knowledge, in your ability.
You will be the first to become the student in the equation, but the last to realize you are no longer the teacher. 
Let go of yourself and learn from those around you.
There is an incredible freedom in humility.

Good intentions will get you nowhere. 
Get over yourself.  J
I’m still working on it.

Friday, July 1, 2011

A day in the life of a normal girl, trying to be anything but normal.

"Hate ends not with more hate but with love.
And from that we take hope. 
Without love and hope our lives would be empty.
Happiness is something we cannot keep, unless we give it away."
quote from a Khmer mother after her life had been uprooted, her loved ones murdered, and her country torn apart by her very own people.

Whew, back to the day...
The day where I get to meet and BE influenced by these incredibly strong, capable, beautiful, and kind people. These people who have had so much taken away and have responded with smiles through their tears. All I pray is that I learn from them and that in some small way I am able to help carry just a tiny piece of this massive, unfathomable burden that they have had for so many years. This will be the ultimate blessing to me, me who was born with EVERYTHING. If you are reading this, thank you for being in my life.

  • Most people around here take 3 showers a day… the high temp right now is 88 or 89 I think, but with 100% humidity it is said to feel like high 90’s.  Either way, feels hot to me!  And I love three cool showers in a day!
  • Still on the job hunt!  I have three websites I keep up on everyday.  Have applied for some positions, mostly teaching.  Have heard back on a couple, but I am waiting for just the right thing! Hopefully something that leaves time for volunteering and spending time with friends from school where I worked last year and enjoying this earth that the good Lord created to be enjoyed. 
  • Another part of the daily routine is CLEANING!  I sweep the place everyday, mop often, take the trash out everyday and ALWAYS wash all of the dishes and keep food in the fridge or tightly sealed!  There are always bugs anywhere you go, and of course it’s also dusty! 
  • Psar Toul Tom Pong (Russian Market) is a favorite stop of mine!  I love getting ‘Phnom Penh’s Best Iced Coffee’ from a very sweet man who always has multiple Sampeah’s (Khmer way of greeting, showing respect, saying thank you, etc! always a good thing) for you and his beautiful niece is always there as well.  These people are there 7 days a week, all day.  Never heard of sick days or vacation days J  Have met some super nice people just hanging out drinking coffee (two glasses of the best iced coffee in Phnom Penh for $1).  Today I met Michelle from Mayo, Ireland and Alex from D.C.  They are here for the summer working as law interns for an NGO, had a great time chatting with them!  Also you can find anything you want or need at the markets here, any kind of clothing or a tailor if you want your clothing made.  You can buy all of your food, bathroom and cleaning supplies, office supplies, things for a car or moto including tires and other parts, you can eat lunch, run into people from every country in the world, find any piece of jewelry, books, any cd, dvd, battery, camera part, lol I will stop but you get the point!
  • Met a lovely Pakistani woman today named Maria!  She has the cutest son ever! Her husband is here working for Mobitel.  She has been here since May but has to head back home in a couple days.  I got her email though in case I even want to go visit. She lives in Peshawar and could NOT believe that I don’t have Facebook, ha-ha!
  • Saw a white woman on a moto with TWO kids in front of her. Both of them had helmets, yea!  So wish I got a picture of that, funny sight and not so common! Six Khmer=fine, Three foreigners(including two kids)=not such a common sight!
  • Today I got some groceries (you tend to buy more often and need to use more quickly groceries here because of the heat) and also some dvd’s.   The sun sets at 6 and I usually try to be inside by then, the evenings can get lonely so I usually read but with the TV on. Decided to get some new movies, let me know if anyone has recommendations (you can get any movie that is out, or haha in the theatre).  Anyhow…I guess it pays off hanging out in one place for an hour letting the employees practice their English on you and asking them all about their families, houses, distance to work, how they like their jobs, etc.!  Got six dvd’s for $7.50!  They are usually $1.50 or $2 each (at this high-quality place), even for Khmer ha-ha! Super sweet employee, Dany (English nickname) gave me her phone number.  Last time Mar and I found it is better to receive phone numbers than to give yours ha-ha. As it would not be uncommon for someone to call you ten times a day, even someone you just met! Mar remember Menghorng ahhhhhhh!!!  :)
  • Ohhh the monsoons… I usually hide inside in the afternoon either at home or somewhere else.  So anytime between 1 and 4 it usually RAINS like crazy for an hour or two.  And these storms are not just crazy rain; they include extremely high wind, and amazing lightning.  Not so amazing is the fact that more than 90 people have been killed this year. LMore people die in Cambodia from lightning than in any other country, and it’s still early in the wet season. 
Sorry if this is boring, just trying to explain a typical day!  And actually I typed a huge thing and then i somehow lost it, so this is the second time around and not as well written because I got frustated haha.

Much Love! And many Sampeahs!