May all beings be well, happy and peaceful

Found this short piece filed away.  Wrote it soon after arriving in Phnom Penh...
Love when the memories are jogged and you get a taste of what it was like in the beginning!  When sights and sounds could actually be shocking...

Don’t miss Wat Langka during your stay in Cambodia.  This is an excellent opportunity to see a beautiful temple, to get a glimpse of Buddhism, and to experience the serenity and stillness that results from meditation. Wat Langka is very accessible - right at the corner of Sihanouk and Street 51. It is one of the original wats in Phnom Penh not destroyed during the Khmer Rouge era.  

I went and experienced meditation myself on Saturday.   Having grown up in a Western country in a workaholic family this does not come naturally for me, but oh how amazing it was. I cannot wait to return. If you are a beginner, don’t worry!  The small instructional booklet provided was an incredible help.   I understood what meditation was, but I had never actually practiced it.  This assistance for beginners is perfect and very useful.  So I got my mat and my cushion, sat in my half lotus and attempted to focus on every breath.  

And then…Thoughts…Itch on my foot…Thoughts…Having to swallow…Thoughts …Itch on my neck…Thoughts…Strange twitch in my right arm…Thoughts…Biting my cheek…Thoughts…So thirsty…Thoughts

It’s like every fiber of your being is rebelling against this one thing that you want to do --- Focus on your breath.  I mean how hard can that be? It sounds so simple. I inevitably continued to find myself either biting my cheek, having an extreme need to swallow, or getting itches or twitches.  It is so strange how acutely aware you become of these sensations in your body (or thoughts in your head). Things I would never have taken notice of before.  But I followed my instructions and as soon as I found myself doing one of these things I focused entirely on it, it went away, and I returned to focusing on my breathing.

The itch went away, the need to scratch it disappeared.  The need for water also disappeared.  Eventually I could focus on just the breathing… and then WOW. My hands got so heavy, my whole body actually.  I felt completely separate from my body, like I was just looking down on it.  I had to open my eyes a couple times to make sure I was still on my mat in the temple!  It was a peculiar and yet extraordinary experience. 

I have so much to learn and cannot wait to go back.  We focus so much on feeding our bodies and being physically fit and often forget to keep our minds fit.

“May all beings be well, happy and peaceful.” 

- Buddhist Loving-kindness prayer

Phsar Thmey

Phsar Thmey, known as Central Market, is a unique and beautiful structure.  Directly translated from Khmer Phsar Thmey means "new market" but it is locally known as Central Market.

why can't there just be a middle ground?

There is a distinct line when it comes to the issue of trafficking.   It seems you are on one side or the other.  People vehemently defend their chosen side.  Why does this issue have to be so controversial? 

While it is difficult to argue the existence of trafficking, there are still some who would fight even the use of the term.  While many of the statistics surrounding the issue are questionable and thrown around carelessly, it is happening at some level on all continents (um except Antarctica).  It is something that should not be ignored.  Labor trafficking does not seem to arouse quite the amount of passion as “sex trafficking.”  Recently it seems it is sex trafficking that has so much attention and that is what I have been thinking about. 

What I question is not it’s existence. 

What I question is the focus of people’s passion. 

I know I have swung back and forth across ‘the line.’   

But why does it have to be so BLACK & WHITE, CUT & DRIED.  

Why does it seem like I have to choose to be either a Bible thumping missionary or an advocate for legalized prostitution? 

Why do I have to choose between praying for women or paying them for services?

Where is the happy medium?  I have met and respect people on both sides of the (invisible) line.  I just wish some of us could live in the middle without being judged by both. 

Every day I learn something new.  Next year my thoughts on this issue may have made a 180” turn.  I don’t know.  What I know is that I am neither a missionary nor a supporter of paying for sex.  But I’m not an expert.  It is up to you to have your opinion, your beliefs, please let me have mine too.  We have all had different experiences and have a right to our own opinion. 

Let me be free.  Let me revel in the knowledge that there are many, many experts out there doing an amazing job.  There are painstaking research tactics being conducted as I type.  I will continue to read, learn and study.   I will learn from them.  I will continue to meet the actual citizens of this place we all like to “label” and form opinions of.  Continue to learn about their own journeys and challenges.  My own opinions will evolve.  Just like these issues continually evolve. 

But don’t believe that everyone thinks like you.  Don’t even believe that everyone SHOULD think like you.

Why can’t we have meaningful conversations without overheating?  Without excess opinion but with relevant and trustworthy facts. 

Ya, ya I know it’s a “hot topic” and the latest celebrity trend.  I know it’s a sore subject for many.  But we can’t be judging and offending and criticizing the true advocates.  The ones who were there before it was trendy. 

You know what…

I can give out condoms while wishing, hoping and yes praying for the best. 

I can meditate and receive a blessing from a Buddhist monk without “going to hell”. 

I can care for and befriend the girls at the bars, the men at the bars, the ladyboys, pretty much anyone and that is ok too.

I’m not a missionary.  And I am not here to “save” anyone.  Haha as if.  

And I’m not an advocate for the sex industry.  I know it’s always been around.  I know it’s a part of culture and it isn’t my place to change someone else’s culture.

Just trying to figure out how to be in the middle.

How to let people know that not everyone is coming with one or the other.

Money and an agenda or a bible and an agenda.  

Coined

We cannot completely disregard customs just because they are based on something we do not 'believe' in or agree with.  Although Western modern medicine is science-based, most are also guilty of trying at home remedies, old wives tales, or quick fix supplies for anything and everything.  The majority of these have no evidence to support their success.  Considering ‘blood letting’ was practiced well into the 19^th Century and there are still common procedures being done that are relating to blood letting (acupuncture), we cannot assume that everything accepted in our society or culture is proven to be effective.

The first time I came to Southeast Asia I often saw people with swollen, red lines down their backs and arms.  Sometimes they looked red and sometimes they appeared to be dark like bruises. Of course I had to find out what this was and then had to try it for myself. On coining:

There are various rituals and customs practiced all over the world that seem foreign or strange to someone else but are vital parts of life to the members of the society.  I am sure you have heard of cupping, there is a similar practice here in Cambodia.   Coining or cao gio is sought out as a remedy for multiple issues including fever, the common cold, abdominal pain, chills, headache, and any general sickness. Coining involves rubbing oil or balm (such as tiger balm) on the skin, ordinarily the chest, back, and shoulders, and then VIGOROUSLY rubbing a coin over the area in a linear fashion until a red mark is seen. Cao gio is translated as “catch the wind” as it is believed to remove excess wind (one of the humors) and restore balance to the body.  Illness is a disruption in balance and coining is an attempt to restore balance to the opposing elements.  Although it’s proven that coining improves circulation and that the tiger balm (and other agents with D camphor) is effective when absorbed transdermally against aches, pains, and hypotension this practice is widely regarded in a negative light.  It has been reported as abuse, described as superstitious, and firmly disregarded by the western medical community.  I have pictures if you would like to see, it’s pretty harsh.  You might call it abuse also, but I chose to be ‘coined.’ Oh by the way, it took one hour and cost $4.

I only bring this up as a personal example of something that looked extremely painful and would appear crazy to some but was well worth the pain to have the experience.  I was able share the experience with my amazing Cambodian friend, to hear stories about growing up with this experience, as a child she associated it with pain and now she cannot wait to be ‘coined.’  She chooses to do it anytime that she is stressed, has a cold, or feels like she is getting sick.  Some may call it superstitious. Many might even think it’s ‘magic’ but to Sopheap it’s medicine and it’s life. 

From August '11