'96 Suzuki Viva :)

The facts:

I try my best to 'fit in' here.

I attempt to NOT look like a tourist or like a foreigner who feels ‘their way’ is the ‘best’ or the ‘only’ way to speak, to behave, and to live. 

This is done through careful attention to mannerism, speech, dress, eye contact, familiarity depending on age, etc. etc.

Constantly I am considering the differences in our societies and in social norms: 

Considering the fact that what I live on would be beneath poverty level in the U.S. but here is living quite well. 

Considering how people in all societies have different expectations for the different genders and their ‘roles.’

Considering how to better fit into society and be thought of as equal, as a member, not an outsider.

The story:

I am going to share an experience I had last night.  The previous day I had purchased a moto so that I could travel around Phnom Penh without paying a Moto taxi every time I needed to go somewhere.  It is difficult to walk everywhere here as the roads are crazy, there are no sidewalks, and pollution is extreme.  I decided it would be a great investment while living in Cambodia.  It is not a good idea to begin driving a new (to you) or different vehicle in a place with completely different traffic rules, or should I say lack thereof, and laws than what you are used to.  My friend came to my apartment and we took the new moto to a less busy part of the city to practice my driving ‘skills.’ 

As I am already an extreme minority in this city (which by the way I think everyone should experience at one time or another!), I attempt to learn and practice as many of the cultural norms as possible.  There is an immediate impression formed in this society because of my race and gender.  But I don’t want to just be another ‘barang.’  There can be a stigma attached to a foreigner here as many come to this developing country solely to benefit themselves at the detriment of others.  I dress as the average citizen dresses, not as a tourist.  I speak in the native language (a tiny bit) to each person I meet to gain a bit of acceptance.  I believe this is part of impression management, specifically physical appearance and verbal expression, as I seek to fit in and be looked upon as an equal by my friends and neighbors.  There is an automatic assumption that because of the color of my skin I am wealthy.  In my own society I would not be considered wealthy.  Here, on the other hand, the fact that I pay $200/month rent, own a computer, and now own a moto, along with the color of my skin means that I am, in this society, considered ‘wealthy.’  So I make every attempt possible to fit in with my friends and neighbors.

I think on some level I wanted to prove that I could figure all of this out on my own, even though everything is in another language and I know NOTHING about motor bikes.  I wanted to purchase the bike, figure out the tax stickers, the vehicle  license as well as my driver’s license and insurance, and lastly learn how to drive the moto quite well as it has been awhile since I have driven anything other than a car.   This will also further establish my membership into the group as the average Cambodian learns how to drive the family motor bike at a very young age.

I really enjoyed driving the moto, it was simple and fun and I couldn’t wait to get home and park it so I could go upstairs to my apartment and study.  As soon as we set off to head for home….the motor wouldn’t start.  It had gas, it had oil, it just wouldn’t start.  Not even the manual starter would start it…  So, guess what…. Well if you have never been to a developing country, there are no tow trucks and no AAA. There is the option of paying for a tuk tuk to haul it home for me or pushing it!  So my friend and I pushed the motor bike all the way home, and it was a ways.

I held my head high as I walked the many kilometers home pushing my motor bike in 96 degree weather.  I pretended to laugh it off when in reality I felt like a complete fool.  I felt that I had made a mistake in the purchase of the moto.  I felt that I did not know enough mechanically, even though this feeling of insecurity is a result of my own society and not the one I am currently in.   It is completely abnormal for a woman to know anything about a moto here, to go and look at one herself or to purchase one herself.  So people were probably not looking at me like I was an idiot, but that is how I felt.  I kept my head held high and a smile on my face (while the perspiration ran down my forehead), seeking to preserve any remaining dignity.