People and Places

Today I was pondering the parallels between places and relationships. 

When you first step foot into a new country the surroundings are surreal: 

The faces new and somehow innocent. 

The landscape enthralling, “like nothing ever seen before.”  Every palm tree is unique and perfect.  The sky is the bluest you have seen.

The fruit…you cannot even describe the colors, the smells, the taste. 

Everything around appears so fresh and pure.  It is almost too good to be true.  You have yet to notice the giant cockroaches, the begging children, the armies (we are talking Red Army here) of ants taking over, the numerous fellows who appear to assume that the side of the road is a toilet (wonder what would happen if I assumed as well), and the “could be oh so beautiful” beaches littered with plastic bags, syringes, dead creatures, etc.  

You scoff at others’ discomforts, mock safety concerns, and admonish them for their negativity. 

You know what I’m talking about right—infatuation. 

Then you begin to wonder about little things... 

What makes that banana so small? 

Why isn’t this language tonal? 

Why are there different levels of sampeahs? 

What causes the monsoon?

Why does everyone always smile?

Does everyone in the world love rice?

Why do I need to remove my shoes?

Why do they use the US dollar?

Silly things. 

Then you consider the bigger issues.  The cultural norms that differ so greatly from your own.  Differences in gender roles, in parenting styles, and in beliefs and morals.  Your mind is not quite so open as it was previously.  You still want to learn, but your attitude has gained a little superiority.  You politely offer “well, this is how we do it,” while thinking “and it works for us so why don’t you try it out?”  You quietly contemplate all the reasons their way is “wrong” and yours is “right.” 

You really begin to get to know the place.  You meet people, you learn their stories and discover their passions.  It is enthralling to learn about life in another culture.  

The learning, or discovery stage.  

Then you have a negative experience.  

Whether it’s a stolen laptop, getting clipped by drunken and clueless Lexus, or hearing a story about a “local little girl” that tears your heart out piece by piece, you realize everything is not as it first appears.  At least not for us doe-eyed optimists. 

Ya, we’ve all been there—time to weigh out your options, right?  Should I head somewhere that is cleaner, maybe without any travel warnings? 

Some choose to  leave after this experience.  Unfortunately the negative taste will probably remain with them, influencing their stories and blog posts for years to come.  Maybe it’s for the best.  I say it is always worthwhile to tough it out.  Rainbows come after the rain, right?  Not before and not during. 

There are seasons.  Weeks and months of excitement and discovery.  Days of dreariness and not much hope.  Sometimes you look around and see only trash and beggars, other times you see only smiling sweepers.  

I could go on…but will keep it simple.

If we can get past the infatuation and find truth, it will be a worthwhile venture.  Reality is not always picture perfect, sometimes it hurts, sometimes it's ugly.  But it is always worth the journey.

Every place has its own quirks as every place has its own beauty.  Maybe certain places aren’t for all of us.  But we, who get to discover new places and truly learn about their histories, and their people, with open minds, are incredibly lucky. 

Ya it’s cheesy, but just like in relationships the enchantment will fade.  Reality will set in.  Don’t forget to look for the goodness.  It is always there.  And it is sure to outlast all of the corruption, racism, hatred, and negativity.