Intentions do not justify actions.

I came to the Kingdom of Wonder with “good intentions.”

I came thinking I could lend a helping hand, thinking my experience could be of use.

I came to fight what I believed to be a serious problem.

I came with such a typical Western attitude.

Notice the pattern – I, I, I & (wait for it…) I.

Why is it so easy for Individualists, born and raised believing personal freedom is the most important thing in life, to press their beliefs and behaviors upon others?

Why is it so natural to think that “our way” is the right way?  In fact – the Only way.  Why is it impossible to consider that perhaps other cultures, other societies, have their own way?

Why would I not realize that it is not my place to come to a country to “help” it? Maybe I should come and learn the language.  

Maybe I could come and learn the culture. 

Maybe I could come and build some relationships with it’s citizens, share their food and learn their stories. 

While I came with good intentions, they were the wrong intentions.  I know that now.  I came to ‘help’ but instead found a haven.  Here is where I learned to just “be.”  I learned from the very people I wanted to ‘help,’ I learned kindness, unselfishness.  I learned what it is to truly give. 

I’m not proud of the reasons I came – yes to teach English and yes to volunteer with an anti-trafficking organization.   

I now consider myself incredibly lucky and blessed to have spent this time here.  I have learned more than I ever could in university. 

Never again will I go to “help” others in a place I do not truly know anything about.  You can read all the books in the world, you can know a country’s history inside and out but you have to know it’s PEOPLE to truly know it. 

Who am I to help anyone?

I am incredibly thankful to the Kingdom of Wonder.  To this land and people I owe everything.  I know now a bit more about myself but more importantly about others.  I know that I can never know much about anything. 

Every day I learn something new.

Never get too confident in yourself, in your knowledge, in your ability.

You will be the first to become the student in the equation, but the last to realize you are no longer the teacher. 

Let go of yourself and learn from those around you.

There is an incredible freedom in humility.

Good intentions will get you nowhere. 

Get over yourself.  J

I’m still working on it.

Thoughts from a questioning, speculating, curious, fascinated, and easily distracted barang…

There are so many things I don’t know.

But I do know that I am privileged to be in this place today.

In a country that is fighting for freedom.

In a land where people are crying out and demanding liberty and dignity.

And for such simple things – respect for themselves and a roof over their babies heads.

This is not a land of “free speech” I do not even know if such a place truly exists.

But it is a land that inspires courage and audacity.

It is a land that awakens your soul and does not allow you to remain unchanged. 

It is one thing to grow up hearing of stories and adventures, of quotes and songs about liberty and fighting for justice.  Some true and inspirational and some fictitious, invented to foster patriotism, some so greatly altered from their original circumstances our “forefathers” are smirking in sardonic delight. 

It is completely different to be surrounded by these stories in the actual process of their creation. There will be no falsification necessary.  The land evictions taking place here that have left so many homeless and destitute have aroused a sleeping giant.  Courage and bravery emanates from the faces of women, grandmothers and daughters, mothers and sisters, the ones already responsible for so much and now responsible to stand up for the very basic human.  History is being made by a young generation of powerful and inspiring individuals, a generation of people more than capable of overcoming a horrific past, a group of young people seeking to give back to their families, to their country, to the less fortunate around them.  Nobody will stop them.  We would be so lucky to learn an ounce of courage from observing them, we would be so blessed to stand beside them while they shine. 

Even from their prison cells.