Phnom Penh Riverside

It's a nice afternoon in Phnom Penh. Sisowath Quay is blocked off so it is quiet and peaceful.  

Food exhibit at the riverside!  Enjoy some tasty treats!!!

Udong

Udong in Kampong Speu province is about 40 kilometers northwest of Phnom Penh, Cambodia.

                                        

Udong was previously the capitol of Cambodia.  See link for more information.  

Valid Resources on Why Orphanage Tourism is Never Justifiable

Orphanage Tourism In Cambodia:  A Thriving Business

Current (and relevant) Information from just a few places:

Lessons I Learned 

ChildSafe Traveler Tips

The Telegraph - Orphanage Tourism:  Help or Hindrance

Al Jazeera - Cambodia's Orphan Business 

Southeast Asia Travel (about.com) - Orphanages in Cambodia are not Tourist Attractions

Sometimes the so called Rescuer is the one who needs to be Rescued

Who do you know that walks around bragging about how they have been “rescued.”  

What healthy and happy individual ever hopes to be referred to as a “victim.”  I cannot help but wonder if these very terms meant to demonstrate innocence (or lack of fault) could be complicating an already complex situation. 

I respect many individuals and organizations that are working in this arena.  This is not a rant against anyone. I only bring this up because I shudder when I hear the words victim and rescue over and over and over. At times it even seems to be re-exploitation. Using the words, stories and experiences of someone else to raise a dollar or gain attention.

Every one of us is moving forward.  We get nowhere dwelling on our past.  We know it is not something to be ignored but neither should it be our sole focus.  A girl or boy, man or woman that has dealt with trauma does not need to be reminded of every painful memory on the walls around them.  In the newspapers, or in books.  They don’t need to hear their story told over and over with these words as key.  They should not have to tell their story over and over.  There is a time and a place to address these issues and it is not in the eye of the public.  On display for “the rest of us.”  It is not through social media or campaigning. This is an area for professionals.  This is the time for committed, seasoned, and culturally knowledgeable experts.  This is just my personal experience - not a professional opinion by any means.

I hear presentations or see passionate films meant to induce empathy and funds and over and over I wince at the constant use of these words.  Victim.   Rescue. 

Definition of “Rescue” according to Merriam Webster:

to free from confinement, danger, or evil : save, deliver as

a : to take (as a prisoner) forcibly from custody

b : to recover (as a prize) by force

c : to deliver (as a place under siege) by armed force

If I were truly “rescued” from a horrendous situation as these films, books, websites, etc. imply I would feel greatly indebted to the person or people who rescued me.  Especially as a wounded and traumatized individual, that word thrown around over and over and over could cause feelings of deep obligation.  

To free someone from danger, to save or deliver them.  That is a massive task.  I do not think this could really be happening as often as it is being implied.  Rather it almost seems as if  people are just trying to be heroes.  

There are countless organizations and groups with the term Rescue in their name.  The word is used on their websites, at their conferences, in face to face conversation, in their brochures….everywhere.  It is a part of them.  A part of their foundation.  To them it is a piece of their existence.  Is it affecting their approach?

But what if there is more.  What about the girls and boys who need to move beyond this.  What about the women who are learning worth, value, significance.  NOT learning from someone who has ‘rescued’ them, not learning from their surroundings.  But finding the worth that is inherent in their very beings. 

Many of us have been "victims."  But we do not ask people to refer to us that way.  

W do not need to have the world know.  I do not wish to be referred to as “rescued’ “saved” “delivered” or “freed.”  Maybe others do not wish it either.

These words seem to connotate some kind of Supreme Being.  

Just the first half of the first page of Google search for rescue, trafficking

http://www.allgirlsallowed.org/rescue-trafficked-children

http://www.acf.hhs.gov/trafficking/

http://www.rescue.org/our-work/anti-trafficking-initiative

http://projectrescue.com/

http://calledtorescue.org/

May all beings be well, happy and peaceful

Found this short piece filed away.  Wrote it soon after arriving in Phnom Penh...
Love when the memories are jogged and you get a taste of what it was like in the beginning!  When sights and sounds could actually be shocking...

Don’t miss Wat Langka during your stay in Cambodia.  This is an excellent opportunity to see a beautiful temple, to get a glimpse of Buddhism, and to experience the serenity and stillness that results from meditation. Wat Langka is very accessible - right at the corner of Sihanouk and Street 51. It is one of the original wats in Phnom Penh not destroyed during the Khmer Rouge era.  

I went and experienced meditation myself on Saturday.   Having grown up in a Western country in a workaholic family this does not come naturally for me, but oh how amazing it was. I cannot wait to return. If you are a beginner, don’t worry!  The small instructional booklet provided was an incredible help.   I understood what meditation was, but I had never actually practiced it.  This assistance for beginners is perfect and very useful.  So I got my mat and my cushion, sat in my half lotus and attempted to focus on every breath.  

And then…Thoughts…Itch on my foot…Thoughts…Having to swallow…Thoughts …Itch on my neck…Thoughts…Strange twitch in my right arm…Thoughts…Biting my cheek…Thoughts…So thirsty…Thoughts

It’s like every fiber of your being is rebelling against this one thing that you want to do --- Focus on your breath.  I mean how hard can that be? It sounds so simple. I inevitably continued to find myself either biting my cheek, having an extreme need to swallow, or getting itches or twitches.  It is so strange how acutely aware you become of these sensations in your body (or thoughts in your head). Things I would never have taken notice of before.  But I followed my instructions and as soon as I found myself doing one of these things I focused entirely on it, it went away, and I returned to focusing on my breathing.

The itch went away, the need to scratch it disappeared.  The need for water also disappeared.  Eventually I could focus on just the breathing… and then WOW. My hands got so heavy, my whole body actually.  I felt completely separate from my body, like I was just looking down on it.  I had to open my eyes a couple times to make sure I was still on my mat in the temple!  It was a peculiar and yet extraordinary experience. 

I have so much to learn and cannot wait to go back.  We focus so much on feeding our bodies and being physically fit and often forget to keep our minds fit.

“May all beings be well, happy and peaceful.” 

- Buddhist Loving-kindness prayer

Phsar Thmey

Phsar Thmey, known as Central Market, is a unique and beautiful structure.  Directly translated from Khmer Phsar Thmey means "new market" but it is locally known as Central Market.

why can't there just be a middle ground?

There is a distinct line when it comes to the issue of trafficking.   It seems you are on one side or the other.  People vehemently defend their chosen side.  Why does this issue have to be so controversial? 

While it is difficult to argue the existence of trafficking, there are still some who would fight even the use of the term.  While many of the statistics surrounding the issue are questionable and thrown around carelessly, it is happening at some level on all continents (um except Antarctica).  It is something that should not be ignored.  Labor trafficking does not seem to arouse quite the amount of passion as “sex trafficking.”  Recently it seems it is sex trafficking that has so much attention and that is what I have been thinking about. 

What I question is not it’s existence. 

What I question is the focus of people’s passion. 

I know I have swung back and forth across ‘the line.’   

But why does it have to be so BLACK & WHITE, CUT & DRIED.  

Why does it seem like I have to choose to be either a Bible thumping missionary or an advocate for legalized prostitution? 

Why do I have to choose between praying for women or paying them for services?

Where is the happy medium?  I have met and respect people on both sides of the (invisible) line.  I just wish some of us could live in the middle without being judged by both. 

Every day I learn something new.  Next year my thoughts on this issue may have made a 180” turn.  I don’t know.  What I know is that I am neither a missionary nor a supporter of paying for sex.  But I’m not an expert.  It is up to you to have your opinion, your beliefs, please let me have mine too.  We have all had different experiences and have a right to our own opinion. 

Let me be free.  Let me revel in the knowledge that there are many, many experts out there doing an amazing job.  There are painstaking research tactics being conducted as I type.  I will continue to read, learn and study.   I will learn from them.  I will continue to meet the actual citizens of this place we all like to “label” and form opinions of.  Continue to learn about their own journeys and challenges.  My own opinions will evolve.  Just like these issues continually evolve. 

But don’t believe that everyone thinks like you.  Don’t even believe that everyone SHOULD think like you.

Why can’t we have meaningful conversations without overheating?  Without excess opinion but with relevant and trustworthy facts. 

Ya, ya I know it’s a “hot topic” and the latest celebrity trend.  I know it’s a sore subject for many.  But we can’t be judging and offending and criticizing the true advocates.  The ones who were there before it was trendy. 

You know what…

I can give out condoms while wishing, hoping and yes praying for the best. 

I can meditate and receive a blessing from a Buddhist monk without “going to hell”. 

I can care for and befriend the girls at the bars, the men at the bars, the ladyboys, pretty much anyone and that is ok too.

I’m not a missionary.  And I am not here to “save” anyone.  Haha as if.  

And I’m not an advocate for the sex industry.  I know it’s always been around.  I know it’s a part of culture and it isn’t my place to change someone else’s culture.

Just trying to figure out how to be in the middle.

How to let people know that not everyone is coming with one or the other.

Money and an agenda or a bible and an agenda.  

Coined

We cannot completely disregard customs just because they are based on something we do not 'believe' in or agree with.  Although Western modern medicine is science-based, most are also guilty of trying at home remedies, old wives tales, or quick fix supplies for anything and everything.  The majority of these have no evidence to support their success.  Considering ‘blood letting’ was practiced well into the 19^th Century and there are still common procedures being done that are relating to blood letting (acupuncture), we cannot assume that everything accepted in our society or culture is proven to be effective.

The first time I came to Southeast Asia I often saw people with swollen, red lines down their backs and arms.  Sometimes they looked red and sometimes they appeared to be dark like bruises. Of course I had to find out what this was and then had to try it for myself. On coining:

There are various rituals and customs practiced all over the world that seem foreign or strange to someone else but are vital parts of life to the members of the society.  I am sure you have heard of cupping, there is a similar practice here in Cambodia.   Coining or cao gio is sought out as a remedy for multiple issues including fever, the common cold, abdominal pain, chills, headache, and any general sickness. Coining involves rubbing oil or balm (such as tiger balm) on the skin, ordinarily the chest, back, and shoulders, and then VIGOROUSLY rubbing a coin over the area in a linear fashion until a red mark is seen. Cao gio is translated as “catch the wind” as it is believed to remove excess wind (one of the humors) and restore balance to the body.  Illness is a disruption in balance and coining is an attempt to restore balance to the opposing elements.  Although it’s proven that coining improves circulation and that the tiger balm (and other agents with D camphor) is effective when absorbed transdermally against aches, pains, and hypotension this practice is widely regarded in a negative light.  It has been reported as abuse, described as superstitious, and firmly disregarded by the western medical community.  I have pictures if you would like to see, it’s pretty harsh.  You might call it abuse also, but I chose to be ‘coined.’ Oh by the way, it took one hour and cost $4.

I only bring this up as a personal example of something that looked extremely painful and would appear crazy to some but was well worth the pain to have the experience.  I was able share the experience with my amazing Cambodian friend, to hear stories about growing up with this experience, as a child she associated it with pain and now she cannot wait to be ‘coined.’  She chooses to do it anytime that she is stressed, has a cold, or feels like she is getting sick.  Some may call it superstitious. Many might even think it’s ‘magic’ but to Sopheap it’s medicine and it’s life. 

From August '11